After a few moments of Izzy crushing me with an enormous hug we let go and start to chat and catch up about our mornings. She moans about her family and being forced to hang out with them in public and her youngest sister running her wild. She is very grateful to escape them even for a few hours as long as she is back in time for dinner later as she helps with the bedtime routine since her mum is a single mum, she relies a lot on Izzy for help with her 4 younger sisters. Izzy then asked me about how my morning was and about family therapy and the tears started without me being able to get words out. I began to have a panic attack and started shaking so Izzy did what she knew best and hugged me with all the pressure and helped me calm down and to breathe. Once I stopped shaking, I explained to her how horrible I felt for having to make my siblings come to this dreadful place and how guilty I feel for the trauma of making Aaron and Alice see me in this place and experience therapy and not being able to be at home when no doubt mum and dad are arguing worse as I am in here, adding to their stress levels.
Izzy then grabs her phone and video calls Becca as its clear I need both my best friends right now, pausing her sister fun weekend she apologises to Mandy and says she will be back in a minute, and lets Jamie take over with Mandy for a few moments and comes to her room with her phone, she clearly was in the middle of baking as she is has her apron on and is covered in flour and brownie batter on her face.
They both help me with some breathing exercises that I learnt in therapy yesterday and once I am calmer they talk to me and help me not feel as overwhelmed and guilty.
“okay feel calmer to talk now, thanks you two.”
“good, lets break it down piece by piece and talk it over.” Becca calmly says, she is really good at breaking things down. “firstly do not feel at all guilty for being in there, your health is so important and if you need to be for a few months then so be it, and you are not alone in this, me and Izz are right here with you every step of the way okay, only ever a text away when you need us.”
“exactly, besides focus on a positive of this, coming here to visit you,allows me to escape my crazy family.” she jokingly says. That makes me grin.
“Secondly, as for Aaron and Alice seeing you in here, they are fine, if anything it might be good for them to see mental health struggles to understand more about that, and going to therapy especially with the divorce stuff might help them process feelings. And you can’t help how much your parents will argue, your parents are grown adults and you are just a child, please don’t feel guilty for adding stress as that is not what you are doing okay. your health, mental or physical is more important than anything okay.”
“Thanks guys, you two are the actual best!” I say wiping my eyes with my sleeve.
“of course, now head into your bathroom and rinse your face, as no offence but you have looked better,” Izzy says joking “and then maybe you can feel brave enough to tell us about this morning.”
“Sounds like a plan, I will be a minute.” I do as instructed and head into my bathroom and rinse my face and wipe the tears and snot away. Once refreshed I head back out and snuggle up next to Izzy with the phone and Becca in shot and tell them all the details about this morning and our first family session and how my mum said about it not being my fault for the divorce and she didn’t realise I felt that way and her supporting my dreams of being an illustrator.
After chatting with my best friends for a while I feel alot better about things and feel brighter, turns out maybe the only therapy I need is best friend therapy. I then realise I keep Becca for ages away from super fun sister weekend. “Becca I am so sorry if I held your super fun sister weekend up.”
“Relax Anna honestly, you didn’t do anything, I am always here if you need me I am just sorry I am not there to give you a real life hug when you most need me, and besides my sister was running me crazy, I love her but I can’t keep up with her 7 year old energy so I was due a moment to myself to catch my breath and escape.” We giggle at this, I know with Aaron how crazy 7 year olds can be. “but I do hear Mandy calling me from downstairs, but I promise I will come by after her bedtime a little bit as Jamie is with us all weekend. And remember to text me whenever you need me, my phone is on me at all times and we are here for you every step of the way okay? I love you but I better go see to my sister. Izzy gives Anna a giant hug from me okay, and I will leave you in Izzy’s cable hands.” She blows a kiss through the screen. We blow kisses back and Izzy gives me a hug from Becca before we hang up the phone.
Izzy decides I need distracting so she pulls out her sketchbook with her designs for our winter formal dresses, says “ let me get my sewing kit set up and we can get started with these, shall we do it here or is there an art room maybe?”
“yes actually there is, down the hall and I believe they have some new watercolours I have been wanting to try out that I can do while you sew away!”
“lead the way!” Izzy replies, grabbing her sewing kit and bag as I grab my sketch book and phone and keys, locking my room on the way out.
We walk down the corridor and head left, walking past the living room area where they’re a few spaced out patients and one nurse watching daytime television. Passing the spaced patients I can tell Izzy is a little freaked out but she is hiding her fear of for my sake which I love her for. We arrive at the art room and it’s pretty much empty except one patient over in a corner and their 1:1 nurse who is doing a quiet activity over by the window so we choose the other end of the room to not get in the way and have our own space. We take over one table between us and Izzy starts laying out her sewing stuff and I set up some watercolour equipment and lay my sketchbook as a reference with some watercolour paper. I am doing a watercolor illustration of a sketch of Becca and her sister and their mum for their dad as a welcome home gift for him, I will surprise her with it tonight when she comes, it should have dried by then. Izzy notices the picture I am doing and she asks “ is that the sketch you did of just before Becca’s mum passed away? that is going to be such a great gift for her dad!”
“yeah it was on the day we all had a big movie day with her mum just before she passed and Mandy fell asleep and both Mandy and Becca curled up next to their mum, I couldn’t focus on the movie so I got sketching Becca, Mandy and their mum as it was so sweet. I that figured a watercolour illustration of that moment would be a great welcome gift for their dad.”
“yeah your amazing Anna, you have so much talent! I am jealous!”
“Why are you jealous, you have crazy talent for fashion, your literally designing and making our winter formal dresses, and you make all your own dresses and outfits, mostly from thrift shopping and second hand fabric, and you design all your sister’s outfits too!”
“What can I say having a single mum with 5 daughters and needing every penny she can, I had to learn how to sew to make my own outfits and then learnt how to reuse all the fabric to make a dress fit both myself and then when i don’t want it, turning it into clothes for all my sisters. Being on a budget makes you use all the scraps.”
“You’re amazing izzy!”
“more like we are, your crazy art skill, my fashion skill and Becca’s genius mind, we make the perfect team!”
Just as we settle in and start chatting I see Matty decided to come into the art room today.
He comes in and gets himself some oil pastels and grabs a piece of paper and walks over to our table.
“Hey Anna, do you mind if I join you guys?”
“not at all, make yourself comfy Matty,” I look up from my illustration. “this is one of my best friends, Isabella, she is a fashion genius and is making our winter formal dresses!”
“amazing, its lovely to meet you Isabella, Anna has told me alot about you and Rebecca. Speaking of, I assumed the way you spoke you three are rarely apart, where is Rebecca today?”
“please call me Izzy, and Becca is with her sister this weekend, they are preparing a big surprise and welcome home party for their dad.” Izzy goes on to explain a little about this weekend and why Becca’s dad previously worked away and about the car accident with Becca’s mum and that’s why when he got promoted he is moving closer to home.
“that is amazing that her dad finally gets to move a lot closer to home and be around more.”
“I know right, and even when he is working he is on the way home from school so they can join him for dinner time and stop by the fire house and stuff which is even better.!” I then show him the current watercolour illustration I am working on, “That’s why I am working on this, it’s a welcome home gift for her dad.”
“that is so amazing, he is going to love that, you have so much talent Anna!” This makes me blush and grin and Izzy notices a moment between me and Matty.
“Matty let me show you the dress designs for winter formal!” She shows him her sketches and explains how its all the same colour and fabric with small changes to style and shoes to make them individual for our needs and preferences.
“these are amazing!” what’s the theme of the dance?”
“Under the stars, and me, Izzy and Becca are on the dance committee.” This then brings me an anxious thought and Izzy notices.
“What’s up Anna?”
“how are we going to fulfil dance committee and help with decorations and stuff when I am stuck in here until possibly right before the formal?”
“okay breath, we got you, me and Becca have already figured that out! We are going to to make notes and video call and update you about all the meetings as soon as they happened, and you clearly have an art room here so we can bring the decoration making to you and do them here in this art room, and then we will take them back to school and put them up where they need to be. please don’t stress you got your back like always!”
“thanks Iz, of you two have my back you always do!”
“hey, if you are making decorations and need extra hands, I can help just let me know when, I don’t have much else going on here!” Matty states.
“thanks Matty, the more the merrier.”
Izzy notices the time on her phone “shoot, I didn’t realise the time, as if it’s already 5pm, I said I would be home to help mum with dinner. Sorry Anna, do you mind?”
“of course not Iz, go help with dinner, you’re the best, and Becca said she might stop by later after Mandy’s bedtime , just text me later okay? love you!”
“of course, love you too!” As she runs out the door in a rush. I decide to say and finish my illustration for a little bit as I am almost done, me and Matty chat for a while and we focus on our drawings.
“just about done, just gotta let it dry,” I say as I tidy up my art stuff, putting watercolours back and cleaning the paintbrushes and placing the illustration with my name on the back on the drying rack. “I am going to head back to my room for a little bit and then grab some dinner before Becca comes, maybe see you in the canteen later?”I say as I grab my room key and sketchbook.
“yeah I am not super hungry tonight but might see you in the canteen later! Have fun with Rebecca!”
—TO BE CONTINUED—